Can we go back to the days before smartphones, back before anyone could reach out and pop into your inbox or worse, your text messages at any hour of the day or night, expecting—no, demanding a response?
I miss the days before voicemail was a thing. The days when if you wanted to avoid someone you could—gasp—simply not answer the phone. Because it was a house phone. You could let it ring and ring, and that might be because you were out living your best life, but it also might be because you were sitting right there on the living room couch directly next to the phone eating bonbons and not wanting to talk to a damn person. Also, TRL was on!
At the risk of sounding like the old dude yelling at the neighborhood kids to get off his lawn, when did people become so needy?
Yes, I’m here. Yes, I saw your message. No, I didn’t answer your phone call because I’m busy doing something else. No, your follow-up text message isn’t going to make me call you back sooner. In fact, it’s pissing me off and I might not even call you back at all as punishment for being such a nuisance. Also, to clarify, needing an answer to a question you could Google in literally four seconds does not qualify as ‘urgent.’ Ugh.
And don’t even get me started on text messages that say, ‘can you talk?’ Is there anything worse on the planet?
If I can talk, call me and I’m going to answer the phone. If I can’t talk, you’ve just sent me into a full-on panic which involves my mind racing through every possible scenario that could ever prompt such a ridiculous text and which won’t subside until I find out what you so desperately need to talk about. Which will probably result in me dropping whatever I’m doing and calling you. Great job.
It’s offensive.
The other day I completely disconnected for two hours.
I had a writing project I’d been struggling to finish and I just kept getting distracted over mindless shit, refreshing my inbox. I closed my web browser and turned off my WiFi connection. I put my phone in the other room on silent. For two straight hours, I worked on one single thing, no distractions.
It was mind-blowing.
Yes, I got the project done. Surprise, surprise. But I was also having a sort of in-the-background panic attack, wondering what little fires might be dropping into my inbox or blowing up my phone. I also knew I was being a complete nutjob because there’s almost nothing that can’t wait for two hours. Once I looked at my phone, I discovered that the world had, in fact, kept spinning without me. But I still felt on edge.
I would love to disconnect more often, just go incommunicado and turn off my phone, but I know that will probably never happen. I’m shackled to my smartphone just like everyone else. But I miss the TRL days, the let-it-ring-and-ring days, the days before that stupid text message ding could pull you away from anything you’re doing at a moment’s notice.
And just to clarify, I’m not talking about friends and family. Well, mostly not. I’m not a complete jerk. I’m talking about people who have no business being so aggressive in their approach, people who feel like they’re entitled to your immediate attention.
As I’m writing this, my phone is ringing. It’s a work contact calling. I’m not even kidding—the timing is absurd. It’s hours past the end of the workday and there’s nothing going on that can’t wait until tomorrow, yet letting it go to voicemail is making my chest tighten up a little. I’m not sure if that says more about my own silly hangups or about our “connected world” or about my inability to separate work and life, but whatever the case, I don’t like it.
I miss the landline days.
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