Hurricanes suck.
I remember getting ready for Hurricane Andrew in 1992. I was only five, but I have a distinct memory of helping my mom carry all the inflatable pool toys and patio furniture in from outside. I asked her why we were doing it and she said “so we have something to float on if the house floods.”
Um, terrifying much?
Hurricane Andrew spared our town and instead headed to Miami, as everyone knows, but 2004 was a different story with Hurricane Charley.
It was August 13th, my best friend Brian’s birthday. School was cancelled because of the storm, but it wasn’t supposed to be that bad in our area so he was over at my house hanging out. We were in the middle of a movie when my mom came in. That moment is frozen in my memory.
“You need to go home,” my mom said to Brian. “The storm is turning.”
Within an hour the power was out, the wind was whipping like crazy and my mom and my little dog and I were in her closet with a mattress over our heads.
I have no idea if we were in there for 3o minutes or three hours. It seemed like forever. At one point a tree branch fell on the roof above and rain came streaming down on us. Just like everyone says, it sounded like a freight train, but actually less like a freight train and more like a hurricane hitting your house. The scariest part was having no idea what was going on outside. We weren’t sure what would be left—if anything—when we came out from under the mattress.
We were very lucky. We got some holes in the roof, some water damage and went a week without power, but our house was mostly intact. Many people in our town lost everything.
Charley’s damage in Charlotte County from the air
Here’s a list of things I like more than hurricanes:
- Mondays
- Olives
- Screaming babies
- Conference calls
- iPhone updates
- When our neighbors play ‘Despacito’ at full blast
- The comment section of any online article
- Black coffee
- Pencils
- When a Pringle impales the side of your throat
- Harlem’s 146th Street post office
- My cats when they run across my face in the middle of the night
- People who cheer when the airplane lands
- Frogs… and I REALLY don’t like frogs
All of that to say, Florida, I’m thinking of you. I’m praying and sending good vibes to all our friends and family there. If you’re evacuating, you’re doing the smart thing. Don’t let the armchair hurricane experts tell you otherwise. Armchair hurricane experts, you suck.
If you’re staying, good luck and stay safe.
And if anyone wants to use this opportunity to make a quick getaway to New York, we’ve got a guest room with your name on it.
